Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose in to other  people's  business.  Several members did not approve of her extra  curricular activities, but feared her enough to  maintain their silence.   She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a  new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old  pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.

She emphatically told Frank (and several others)  that everyone seeing it there would know what he was  an alcoholic

Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain,  defend, or deny... He said nothing.  Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of  Mildred's house... Walked home . .. And left it there all  Night!

You gotta love Frank!

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.

After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the Congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary.
There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's
additional children were costing the church. Finally, the Preacher got up and spoke to the crowd, 'Children are a gift from God,' he said.

Silence fell on the congregation....

In the back pew, a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."