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The
Rules as of today from the experts:
1.
Basically, you can't leave the house for any reason, but if
you have to, then go ahead.
2.
Masks are useless, but please wear one, it could save you or
someone else or maybe not.
Also could be mandatory, maybe.
3.
Stores are closed, except the ones that are open. You can
buy the same stuff at some open stores that they have at
closed stores but there are a lot more people inside them.
4. You
should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. Same
applies to doctors, you should only go there in case of
emergency, provided you are not too sick. If you are sick
stay home.
5.
This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that
sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster or instant
death.
6.
Gloves won't help, but they can still help. If you touch
anything then throw them away!
7.
Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it's important to GO OUT.
8.
There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but
there are many things missing when you go there in the
evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes. Check Facebook
for current inventory.
9. The
virus has no effect on children except those it affects.
10.
Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that
tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been
tested, plus a few tigers here and there…
11.
You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can
also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being
sick, or be contagious without having symptoms.
12. In
order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise,
but eat whatever you have on hand and it's better not to go
out, well, but please support local restaurants.... That are
all closed.
13.
It's better to get some fresh air, but you get looked at
very wrong when you get some fresh air, and most
importantly, you don't go to parks or walk. We closed the
parks. But don’t sit down, except that you can do that now
if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant
(but not too old).
14.
You can't go to retirement homes, but you have to take care
of the elderly and bring food and medication.
15. If
you are sick, you can't go out, but you can go to the
pharmacy or pretty much anywhere.
16.
You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which
may have been prepared by people who didn't wear masks or
gloves. But you have to have your groceries decontaminated
outside for 3 hours. Pizza too?
17.
Every disturbing article or disturbing interview must start
with " I don't want to trigger panic, but…"
18.
You can't see your older mother or grandmother, but you can
take a Uber and meet an older Uber driver.
19.
You can walk around with a friend but not with your family
if they don't live under the same roof.
20.
You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social
distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at
the safe social distance.
21.
The virus remains active on different surfaces for two
hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn't say hours, maybe
days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not
necessarily.
22.
The virus stays in the air - well no, or yes, maybe,
especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick person can
infect ten, so if it falls, all our children were already
infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if
you stay at the recommended social distance, however in
certain circumstances you should maintain a greater
distance, which, studies show, the virus can travel further,
maybe.
23. We
count the number of deaths but we don't know how many people
are infected as we have only tested so far those who were
"almost dead" to find out if that's what they will die of.
But now everyone who dies had it. Tested or not.
24. We
have no treatment, except that there may be one that
apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which
is the case with all medications). And it's already approved
but we need to test it.
25. We
should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it
will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity, so
when it circulates… but we must no longer be locked up for
that?
26.
Exercise is great for immunity but don't go to the gym.
27.
You can get communion wine at the liquor store but if you go
to a church parking lot and sit in your car with your
windows up and don't get communion wine it's a $500 fine.
28.
There may be food shortages because farmers are throwing
away their food because no one wants it.
29.
The disease is from China, but it's Trump's fault!
30. If
you violate these orders, we can put you in jail. Of course,
if you're in jail we will let you out.
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