Car Control

Last week, a deranged woman used her car as a weapon to go on a rampage in the nations capitol near the White House and the Capitol Building. In response to that incident, president Barrak Obama has announced sweeping changes to car laws.

The president stated that this kind of mindless violence can not be tolerated in our great country. "More than thirty thousand innocent victims are killed by automobiles each year in the United States" he stated. With this in mind, I am announcing new laws that will end the madness.

No more than eight gallons of gas may be put in any gas tank.

Sports cars will be illegal.

Automatic an semiautomatic transmission cars will be illegal. 

High capacity vehicles will be illegal.

Only government and law enforcement officials will be allowed to operate vehicles that do not meet the requirements stated above.

We can not allow these deadly cars to continue to stalk our streets talking the lives of innocent men, women and especially, little children.

Makes as much sense as Obama's proposed gun control laws doesn't it?